Yesterday, nothing interesting happened.
So I'm going to write a blog about today.
If something interesting happens.
miércoles, 19 de marzo de 2008
domingo, 16 de marzo de 2008
Smelly Uncle
As immature as the title of this new blog can be, its sadly true, my uncle came with his (smelly) dog, and fell asleep on my moms bed. I went into the room, and it smelled like sweat, human droppings (poo), and a bit of dog (like snoopy or pluto).
I cover my nose, and get the laptop, suddenly, when I go out of the room...
BOOM!
Im like:
What the fuck?
I look at my uncle, but before I lay eyes on him...The horrendous smell crosses the room and goes up my nostrils, my brasin processes it quickly, and I faint, I stumble on my feet, and fall hard on the ground...The horrendous smell...
Actually, no. I just nearly blacked out, but it still smelled like shit.
Anyway, my uncle is still asleep, and he reeks of marijuana now, not that he smokes it, but he just smells funny.
I cover my nose, and get the laptop, suddenly, when I go out of the room...
BOOM!
Im like:
What the fuck?
I look at my uncle, but before I lay eyes on him...The horrendous smell crosses the room and goes up my nostrils, my brasin processes it quickly, and I faint, I stumble on my feet, and fall hard on the ground...The horrendous smell...
Actually, no. I just nearly blacked out, but it still smelled like shit.
Anyway, my uncle is still asleep, and he reeks of marijuana now, not that he smokes it, but he just smells funny.
sábado, 15 de marzo de 2008
Laziness At Its Best
Today, I have doen absolutely nothing than like in my bed all day.
I woke up at 12:00 to take out my laptop and play RuneScape, again, my noisy neighbours are pissing me off with theire family reunions and kids playing around.
For some reason those kids shout and scream way too much, I'm at school when theyre outside screaming.
Unfortunately today, they're damaging theyre brand new vocal cords more than usual.
I'm going to make an effort and get up and go to the mall, and by one of those new awesome Bose headphones or whatever..and try to catch up on some sleep, since I got home last night at 6:30 AM.
The party actually finished at 5:00, but since I was way to drunk to go home, my friend drove every drunk hobo-looking-person back to their box or whatever looked like a decent home.
Anyway, if you do the math, thats 1 and a half hours driving in a car back and forth, and trying to get my drunk friends say where they lived.
For example:
Me: Mike..dude..where do you live??
Mike(drunk): I...liveee...in...FWUCKLAND!...zzzzzz
Me: Mike wake up man seriously..
Mike: FWUCKLAND!..I live in FWUCKWAND!
Me: Hopeless...
Anyway, as not-funny as that can be, I accomplished my goal.
Knowing where people live.
Something like using psychological techniques to do that.
Instead, I used the yellow pages on my cellphone.
Which was way more useful than getting fwuckland as response..a little slower, yet a bit more useful.
Anyway, Im trying to beat this headache by listening to relaxation music, and trying to get drunk by drinking Pepto Bismol.
I think I already know Im going to have a shitty day today, and I really hope my headache goes away so I can go to Millenio Club by night.
I woke up at 12:00 to take out my laptop and play RuneScape, again, my noisy neighbours are pissing me off with theire family reunions and kids playing around.
For some reason those kids shout and scream way too much, I'm at school when theyre outside screaming.
Unfortunately today, they're damaging theyre brand new vocal cords more than usual.
I'm going to make an effort and get up and go to the mall, and by one of those new awesome Bose headphones or whatever..and try to catch up on some sleep, since I got home last night at 6:30 AM.
The party actually finished at 5:00, but since I was way to drunk to go home, my friend drove every drunk hobo-looking-person back to their box or whatever looked like a decent home.
Anyway, if you do the math, thats 1 and a half hours driving in a car back and forth, and trying to get my drunk friends say where they lived.
For example:
Me: Mike..dude..where do you live??
Mike(drunk): I...liveee...in...FWUCKLAND!...zzzzzz
Me: Mike wake up man seriously..
Mike: FWUCKLAND!..I live in FWUCKWAND!
Me: Hopeless...
Anyway, as not-funny as that can be, I accomplished my goal.
Knowing where people live.
Something like using psychological techniques to do that.
Instead, I used the yellow pages on my cellphone.
Which was way more useful than getting fwuckland as response..a little slower, yet a bit more useful.
Anyway, Im trying to beat this headache by listening to relaxation music, and trying to get drunk by drinking Pepto Bismol.
I think I already know Im going to have a shitty day today, and I really hope my headache goes away so I can go to Millenio Club by night.
viernes, 14 de marzo de 2008
Changing Schools
Today, I woke up normally and went to school, there was this annoying science project that I had to do, but I just let my group to do it, while I bothered around on my psp, which after got stolen by my teacher, it seems that she is quite a gamer too because she didn't give it back 'til the end of the day...obssesed much?
Anyway, turns out the school was moving places today, just 2 blocks away from where it was.
Its a pretty nice school, but the classroom my division had really sucked ass, the windows didnt even open.
Some dudes were practicing Capoeira or something at lunch and it looked fucking awesome,
this dude got his ass kicked, and there I met some guy called..Roberto or something, anyway the dude has a really funny face, and hes pretty funny himself.
When school was over I was at the bus stop, when the dude with the funny face just nods to me and breaks up in conversation..I take this cooly but the dude just keeps on talking..so Im like..ok there..awesome..ok..
Anyway turns out he takes the same bus as me and I feel something like..if hes gay or whatever..
We sit a seat apart I talk to him to not give it that much awkwardness, but then. HE KEEPS ON TALKING.
So Im like..this dude is a homosexual.
There was this awesome yet awkward silence..and the only thing you heard was the crappy bus that I was on..
A hot chick gets on the bus..she studies at my school, I pretend to ignore her first but when she sat down, I sat down beside her..forgetting my friend that was beside me.
Anyway I say:
Hey, don't you study in my school?
She Says:Yeahhh I think so..Is it Winderemere?
Me:Yeahh awesome I saw you yesterday.
She Says: Yeahhh nice.
I get her phone number but I still dont find something nice to talk about, turns out that I get off 8 fucking blocks earlier than my house just too stop the awkwardness of 2 people I know practically ditched in conversation.
The other thing is when we moved schools we had to CARRY OUT FUCKING DESKS to the other school.
Which was really embarassing since theres lots of people in the place my school is located.
A friend of mine, passes by and looks at me.
He smiles and I pretend to ignore him. Hes with his girlfriend which makes it even more embarassing.
I get to my house as usual to find that my dog just shitted on the chair.
Which ruined my day.
Anyway, turns out the school was moving places today, just 2 blocks away from where it was.
Its a pretty nice school, but the classroom my division had really sucked ass, the windows didnt even open.
Some dudes were practicing Capoeira or something at lunch and it looked fucking awesome,
this dude got his ass kicked, and there I met some guy called..Roberto or something, anyway the dude has a really funny face, and hes pretty funny himself.
When school was over I was at the bus stop, when the dude with the funny face just nods to me and breaks up in conversation..I take this cooly but the dude just keeps on talking..so Im like..ok there..awesome..ok..
Anyway turns out he takes the same bus as me and I feel something like..if hes gay or whatever..
We sit a seat apart I talk to him to not give it that much awkwardness, but then. HE KEEPS ON TALKING.
So Im like..this dude is a homosexual.
There was this awesome yet awkward silence..and the only thing you heard was the crappy bus that I was on..
A hot chick gets on the bus..she studies at my school, I pretend to ignore her first but when she sat down, I sat down beside her..forgetting my friend that was beside me.
Anyway I say:
Hey, don't you study in my school?
She Says:Yeahhh I think so..Is it Winderemere?
Me:Yeahh awesome I saw you yesterday.
She Says: Yeahhh nice.
I get her phone number but I still dont find something nice to talk about, turns out that I get off 8 fucking blocks earlier than my house just too stop the awkwardness of 2 people I know practically ditched in conversation.
The other thing is when we moved schools we had to CARRY OUT FUCKING DESKS to the other school.
Which was really embarassing since theres lots of people in the place my school is located.
A friend of mine, passes by and looks at me.
He smiles and I pretend to ignore him. Hes with his girlfriend which makes it even more embarassing.
I get to my house as usual to find that my dog just shitted on the chair.
Which ruined my day.
jueves, 13 de marzo de 2008
Vartolomeo; The Best Name To Have Ever Existed
This is my first post,
all my life I have always loved and wantedthe name Vartolomeo, it has a funny feeling of it being to long but yet, too fucking cool.
When I was 12 I always asked my mom why she didnt name me Vartolomeo, but the only answer (or the most reasonable answer I remember I got) was a simple: 'Cause I didn't feel like it.
Seems that I've grown too lazy, yet too smart to change my name.
Well, Today Im moving to Brooklyn, while I was signing the paper to a mover (which had a mexican accent, that aroused a sort of racist suspicion in me) I noticed that his name tag said Vartolo, a sudden rush of panic (or something that made my hands sweat and some goosebumpy feeling like when you have "The Run") went through me.
Politely yet nerviously I asked him:
Hey uhh..is your name really Vartolo?
he looked at me and gave me a smile (the kind criminals have). And he said:
Yeah yeah..my name is vartolo..why?
That panic or whatever it was suddenly went down but I felt more nervious than before, (like when you talk to a chick but then suddenly you feel nervious when you actually see her face)
I said:
Yeah, I wanted to change my name to Vartolomeo when I was little.
(me, trying to not admit that I still wanted to change it. Because for some reason I have a big reputation to hold up:
A New Blog).
Anyway, after explaining about my name, the mover started getting bored..I noticed that, but for some reason I didnt want to stop talking, he started looking around trying to act like he was actually doing something.(like someone trying to find a familiar face in a cocktail party).
After boring the shit out of a mover I realize, whoa..I do suck at telling stories...
Anyway my girlfriend Sara starts talking to a another mexican mover guy...now ofcourse I always think of mexicans as Don Juans, what gang bangers call a "Player" or "Dat MuvaFucka Gat Gaime Homie!"
Anyway, I feel a bit jealous and start to "help" carrying boxes and such, and purposely pass through the mover and my Sara in a way the mexican dude thinks:
Dude..Wait..Wtf? Isn't that my job?
Well luckily my plan worked, and I managed to keep my girlfriend and move everything from my old house to Brooklyn, just when I settled into brooklyn some noisy neighbours come in their house, with a funny hillbilly accent, I automatically get annoyed at them and try to concentrate on my first and new entry, the funny thing is..I look out the window and see 3 ten year olds looking through my window, I politely shut the window and feel sudden embarassment by them seeing me in my sesame street boxers (Im not kidding) and my dog slippers, I walk in the kitchen and Sara looks at me and sees me all red:
Shes like:
Are you ok?
I think:
Yeah im OK its just that 3 kids now are making fun of me and my self-esteem lowered 20 points (I keep score).
Allthough, my highly superior brain processes the question and automatically comes up with an answer that does not lower my ego and doesnt make anyone laugh:
Yeahhh, I'm OK.
all my life I have always loved and wantedthe name Vartolomeo, it has a funny feeling of it being to long but yet, too fucking cool.
When I was 12 I always asked my mom why she didnt name me Vartolomeo, but the only answer (or the most reasonable answer I remember I got) was a simple: 'Cause I didn't feel like it.
Seems that I've grown too lazy, yet too smart to change my name.
Well, Today Im moving to Brooklyn, while I was signing the paper to a mover (which had a mexican accent, that aroused a sort of racist suspicion in me) I noticed that his name tag said Vartolo, a sudden rush of panic (or something that made my hands sweat and some goosebumpy feeling like when you have "The Run") went through me.
Politely yet nerviously I asked him:
Hey uhh..is your name really Vartolo?
he looked at me and gave me a smile (the kind criminals have). And he said:
Yeah yeah..my name is vartolo..why?
That panic or whatever it was suddenly went down but I felt more nervious than before, (like when you talk to a chick but then suddenly you feel nervious when you actually see her face)
I said:
Yeah, I wanted to change my name to Vartolomeo when I was little.
(me, trying to not admit that I still wanted to change it. Because for some reason I have a big reputation to hold up:
A New Blog).
Anyway, after explaining about my name, the mover started getting bored..I noticed that, but for some reason I didnt want to stop talking, he started looking around trying to act like he was actually doing something.(like someone trying to find a familiar face in a cocktail party).
After boring the shit out of a mover I realize, whoa..I do suck at telling stories...
Anyway my girlfriend Sara starts talking to a another mexican mover guy...now ofcourse I always think of mexicans as Don Juans, what gang bangers call a "Player" or "Dat MuvaFucka Gat Gaime Homie!"
Anyway, I feel a bit jealous and start to "help" carrying boxes and such, and purposely pass through the mover and my Sara in a way the mexican dude thinks:
Dude..Wait..Wtf? Isn't that my job?
Well luckily my plan worked, and I managed to keep my girlfriend and move everything from my old house to Brooklyn, just when I settled into brooklyn some noisy neighbours come in their house, with a funny hillbilly accent, I automatically get annoyed at them and try to concentrate on my first and new entry, the funny thing is..I look out the window and see 3 ten year olds looking through my window, I politely shut the window and feel sudden embarassment by them seeing me in my sesame street boxers (Im not kidding) and my dog slippers, I walk in the kitchen and Sara looks at me and sees me all red:
Shes like:
Are you ok?
I think:
Yeah im OK its just that 3 kids now are making fun of me and my self-esteem lowered 20 points (I keep score).
Allthough, my highly superior brain processes the question and automatically comes up with an answer that does not lower my ego and doesnt make anyone laugh:
Yeahhh, I'm OK.
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